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A mishap model composition example

Here is a model composition suitable for Primary 5 & 6 - "A mishap." Below you will find an essay (DRAFT 2) written by one of our students. Our students go through multiple drafts. What you will find in this blogpost is the improved final draft of the composition. Model composition: A mishap (example)



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English Composition Creative Writing Classes at Yishun for Primary 1 2 3 4 5
English Composition Creative Writing Classes at Yishun for Primary 1 2 3 4 5







Model composition A mishap example

Student: Yogansh, P6 (Improved version)

Pictures given: Living room/ fire / bicycle





A mishap model composition example

A mishap model composition example

I am lucky to escape by the skin of my teeth. These were the thoughts that lingered in my mind after the mishap I experienced. A few hours earlier, I was as excited as any other schoolboy to enjoy my school holidays riding around the neighbourhood. My father bought me a brand new BMX bicycle since I passed my examinations with flying colours. I was as proud as a peacock, as it cost an arm and leg. I could not wait to show it off to my neighbours. The BMX bike was a stunning space grey colour. It gleamed under the sun's light. I am quite a careful person. I wore my knee guards and a helmet. I set off to ride along the familiar paths of my neighbourhood. I was expecting a wonderful day, but little did I know something terrible was about to happen. 


“John! What a cool bike!” My neighbours cooed as I whizzed past them. Everything was perfect. The wind was in my hair, and I felt like I was flying. My heart burst with pride, and I could not wait to show it off to more people. I was slowly reaching a traffic junction. However, what happened next was nerve-wracking. As I tried to hit the brakes, I realised it was not working! “What in the world?” I muttered to myself in absolute shock. “How could that be?” I continued. Cars were zooming past like sharks. The traffic light blared red! My bike was not stopping! My face turned as pale as a sheet, and my hands turned clammy. “Oh no!” What am I going to do?” I cried. 


Frantically, I kept stomping on the brakes, but to no avail. I clenched my eyes shut, expecting the worst to happen. My heart palpitated wildly in my chest. My knees were jelly. Just then, the worst happened. A crimson red car hit the side of my bike, and I was sent flying into the air. Momentarily, my heart stopped, as I expected it not to survive. Within seconds, I came crashing onto the ground. Luckily, I fell on the pedestrian path away from the zooming cars! A swarm of bystanders gathered around me like vultures. “Are you okay?” many gasped. My leg was bleeding profusely. I scraped both my knees.. But I did not break a bone! 


I sat there in a daze while the friendly bystanders helped me. They brought me to a nearby clinic. Lucky for me, I did not sustain serious injuries. My bike was faulty. It was just an unlucky incident that caused the mishap. However, I learned to still be extra careful by checking the brakes before taking any bike for a ride! After all, it is better to be safe than sorry. 

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