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Model composition: A wasted opportunity (example)

Here is a model composition suitable for Primary 5 & 6 - "A wasted opportunity." Below you will find an essay (DRAFT 2) written by one of our students. Our students go through multiple drafts. What you will find in this blogpost is the improved final draft of the composition. Model composition: A wasted opportunity (example)

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English Composition Creative Writing Classes at Yishun for Primary 1 2 3 4 5
English Composition Creative Writing Classes at Yishun for Primary 1 2 3 4 5

Model composition: A wasted opportunity (example)

Student: Brinda Anand, P6 (Improved version)

Pictures given: Alarm clock/ piano / microphone

Model composition: A wasted opportunity (example)

“Kendall! It’s way past your bedtime! Don’t you need to wake up early for your audition tomorrow?” Mom nags at me for the umpteenth time. Engrossed in my game, I acknowledged her incessant nagging with a grunt. It was 10 p.m. It was way past my bedtime. I had a singing audition tomorrow at 9 a.m. for a prestigious music academy. It was a golden opportunity. The selected few get to perform in Korea. However, I wasn’t too concerned about it. I am a prodigy. This audition would be a piece of cake. Mother was being a worrywart for nothing. “Kendall!” Mom’s sharp voice pierced my concentration. “One more minute!” I begged my mother. I ignored my mother’s warnings and continued playing my game. Little did I know, that was the worst decision of my life!

The rays of the morning sun gently caressed my face. I rubbed my bleary eyes. However, what I saw next turned both my eyes into soccer balls. It was 8.45 a.m. “Why didn’t anyone wake me? My audition is at 9 a.m.!" I slapped my forehead and got out of bed. I quickly put on my clothes and sprinted to the kitchen. “Mom! Why didn’t you wake me up?” I demanded. “I tried Kendall, but you were sound asleep!” Mother said it curtly. Letting out an exasperated sigh, I fled out of the house with a sandwich in between my teeth. If I took a bus, I could reach the auditorium in five minutes. Running as fast as lightning, I reached the nearest bus stop. Using the bus app on my phone, I tried to check how long it would take for the bus to arrive. What I saw on the app was disappointing. The next bus would arrive in fifteen minutes. I had no time for that! Having no choice, I decided to run all the way to the auditorium.

To make matters worse, it started raining cats and dogs. I was soaked to the skin. The time on my watch exacerbated my anxiety. It was 9.03 a.m. My hands felt cold with anxiety. “Would they let me in?” I wondered out loud. I had no time to think. I kept running as fast as my legs could carry me. Finally, I reached the auditorium. However, what I saw made my heart sink. 

With my disheveled hair and rain-soaked clothes, I ran up to where the auditions were held. To my disappointment, a sign board outside read, ‘Closed.’ No matter how much I argued, begged, and cried to the security officers, they refused to let me in. It was then that it dawned on me that it was a wasted opportunity. I had ruined a golden opportunity. The ship has sailed. There will not be another golden chance like this. Head hanging low, I reached home, only to be reprimanded by my mother. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I learned to be disciplined and not waste any opportunity. After all, you can only make hay while the sun shines. 

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