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An Encouraging moment / An Encouragement / Encouraging someone Model Composition Sample

An Encouraging moment / An Encouragement / Encouraging someone Model Composition Sample

Nicole Zhu, P6, Chongfu Primary (improved version)

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Below is a picture of DRAFT 2 of the student's composition. Our students go through multiple rewrites to improve their composition writing skills. We have presented the improved version of this draft in this blog. We have highlighted good phrases that were used in this composition. 

Model composition for Primary 4 - "A bully"
An Encouraging moment / An Encouragement / Encouraging someone Model Composition Sample

Model composition - Primary 6 - An Encouraging moment / An Encouragement / Encouraging someone

 Have you ever had an encouraging moment? Well, I have. Three months ago, thanks to my enemy, Mason Bason, I can still remember the incident today. 

It was the school anniversary race. We had running lessons once a week. I was a nervous wreck, but I was excited like a dog with two tails. When I was getting ready for the race, I saw a face I dreaded: Mason Bason. Mason Bason came and stood beside me. I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

It was a bright, sunny Friday morning. I was on the field warming up. Little did I know that Mason was going to help me today.

 Soon, the race started. Since I had been practicing night and day for the past two weeks, I easily outran most of the racers except Mason Bason. I was neck and neck with him. I felt a surge of confidence and was about to pick up more speed when suddenly something unexpected happened. I tripped over something and fell to the ground. I cried in agony as blood oozed out of my leg. I tried to move, but excruciating pain coursed through my being. Undaunted, I tried to get up again, but it was futile!

 I failed miserably every time I try to get up. Soon, I lost hope watching participants dash past me without a look of concern on their faces! What happened next was something I did not expect. Suddenly, Mason came and gave me his hand. He was built like a bull and had well-defined muscles. “You can do it!” he encouraged me. Mustering all my strength, he pulled me up, and we passed the finishing line together.


Ever since that incident, we have become as thick as thieves. I apologised to him for not treating him fairly. I thanked him profusely for encouraging me. One should never judge a book by its cover. This encouraging moment will forever be etched in the deep recesses of my mind.

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