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Writer's pictureSabreena Nazimudeen

Model composition: An argument (example)

Updated: Aug 24

Here is a model composition suitable for Primary 5 & 6 - "An argument." Below you will find an essay (DRAFT 2) written by one of our students. Our students go through multiple drafts. What you will find in this blogpost is the improved final draft of the composition. Model composition: An argument (example)



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English Composition Creative Writing Classes at Yishun for Primary 1 2 3 4 5
English Composition Creative Writing Classes at Yishun for Primary 1 2 3 4 5







Model composition: An argument

Student: Shannon Soh, P5 (Improved version)

Pictures given: Two friends/ whispering / two friends fighting





Model composition: An argument (example)

Model composition: An argument (example)

The ceiling fans were working tirelessly to keep the heat away from the classroom. The morning sun was a tyrant, promising us a really hot day ahead. I was feeling elated today as I brought my latest phone to school. I was seated with my best friend, Cindy. Cindy and I had known each other since kindergarten. We are like two peas in a pod. I opened my backpack slightly and let her have a peep. “Oh my goodness! It’s the latest iPhone!” she whispered out loud. “Ssssh! Keep it down!” I asked her to contain her excitement. I told her my parents bought it for me because I had passed my examinations with flying colours. “Would you let me take selfies with it?” Please!” Cindy begged. Cindy loved taking pictures of herself. After all, she was my best friend, and I could not resist her demands. I promised to lend it to her during recess. Little did I know, my brand new iPhone was waiting to wreak havoc on my friendship. 


During recess, Cindy grabbed my phone and began taking numerous pictures of herself. She was having a ball. Soon, other classmates were attracted to her like bees to honey. Trusting her with my brand new iPhone, I made a beeline to my favourite stall at the canteen. However, I was not prepared for what would happen next. While waiting in the queue, I heard a loud thud. Turning around, I found students gathering around Cindy. Her jaw was wide open. In the centre was my brand new iPhone, shattered into smithereens. My heart was in my mouth. I stood rooted to the ground in disbelief. I simply could not fathom what had just transpired. My brand new iPhone was broken!


I stomped towards Cindy and demanded what had happened. “It slipped off my hand while I was taking a picture!” she explained. I was reduced to tears. I picked up my broken iPhone. “I trusted you with it! How could you do that?” I argued. She defended herself over and over, saying that it was all an accident. However, I was not buying it. Soon, the argument escalated to heated levels, and the teachers had to be involved. I was deeply hurt by what Cindy had done. She did not break my iPhone, but my trust. I swore to myself that I would never talk to her again.


The next day, early in the morning, I found a little box on my table. I opened it and found an envelope with a few hundred. “I am sorry I cannot buy you an iPhone, but I used all the money from Chinese New Year so you could buy a new one soon!” a familiar voice echoed behind. It was Cindy. My heart melted. “No, I can’t take this! It is not your fault. It is an accident!” I assured her and tried to return it to her. “I accept the responsibility. This is the only way I can feel less guilty!” she explained. I was touched by her actions. Tears streaming down my cheeks, I hugged my best friend. Our friendship was more valuable than some luxury gadget. I realised we have a bond, and this argument only made our friendship stronger. It is important to forgive and forget. 

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