An embarrassing situation composition model primary example.
Student: Sophea Azfarul, P5 (Improved version)
Pictures given: Farting in a lift / Public speaking / Sitting on a toilet bowl
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Below is a picture of DRAFT 2 of the student's composition. Our students go through multiple rewrites to improve their composition writing skills. We have presented the improved version of this draft in this blog. We have highlighted good phrases that were used in this composition.
Model composition - An embarrassing situation
The rising sun shone brightly in the sky as the birds chirped resonantly. I ambled towards the nearest bus stop from my home and took a seat on the bench, waiting for the bus to arrive. I headed for the City Square mall, where I was meeting up with my best friend, Clara. Soon, the bus arrived, and I boarded it.
“Clara!” I exclaimed joyfully as the familiar figure appeared in my view. I ran towards her before we pulled each other into an embrace. We soon entered the shopping mall in search of the latest, trendy clothes. Little did I know, something embarrassing would happen to me.
“Do you think a top would suit me?” Clara asked as she held up a white blouse. I nodded in agreement. Abruptly, a sharp cramp uncomfortably pinched my stomach. The pain in my stomach worsened over time. I was having a painful stomach ache.
I left the clothing store, leaving Clara behind, and searched for the restroom. I searched the first floor for the restroom. Alas! I thought as I spotted the restroom. To my despair, there was a lingering queue of people waiting outside. I hurriedly left and rushed towards the lift lobby.
I stood in the lift with my face scrunched up, trying to conceal the agonising pain in my stomach. Beside me, there was a group of youthful teenagers. I could not handle it anymore. Abruptly, I let out a tumultuous, foul-smelling flatulence. A red hue roasted my cheeks as I was affected by a hot wave of humiliation. The group of youths covered their faces as they tried to hold on to their disgust.
I dashed out of the elevator as soon as it opened its doors. I ran for the nearby restroom. Finally! I thought as I pushed open an empty cubicle door and locked it. I relieved myself, and to add insult to injury, I realised there was no toilet paper.
“Oh no! What should I do?” I whispered to myself. I mustered all the courage I had and called for help. A kind old lady came to my rescue, and I humbly requested some toilet paper. She passed me the toilet paper from under the cubicle door, and I gratefully thanked her.
I later returned to Clara and related the embarrassing situation to her. She eased my discomfort, and we soon had a great laugh together. After that, we continued our shopping spree without a hitch.